


Hannigram Booty Lotion Gone Wrong Fic

by Orangeone



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack, Dirty Talk, Everything is very gay, M/M, One Shot, i really don't know what to put here it is what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:47:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24484558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orangeone/pseuds/Orangeone
Summary: Will takes a gay shower and something goes very wrong
Relationships: Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Hannigram Booty Lotion Gone Wrong Fic

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this back in 2016 with a friend. Found it in my docs and decided to post it. Based off of a Tumblr post that's been long lost about someone experiencing the same thing with this lotion. Enjoy :)

How did a simple shower turn out like this? How could this have happened? All Will had wanted was to have sex. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so. The constant reminder of his mistake was still stinging in his frozen asshole.   
The evening had started out innocent enough. Hannibal had invited Will over for dinner, and Will was happy to oblige. Often dinner lead to sex, and Will needed to get LAID. Badly.   
The pair of cannibalistic gays finished dinner. Hannibal stood from the table and smiled a gay cannibalistic smile at the other man. “Go wash your ass you dirty hoe.”He said before backflipping away from the dirty dinner table. The dirty dishes vanished with the gay cannibals sick blackflip.   
Will gulped back his awe at the sick moves of his big dicked boyfriend. Man he was gonna fuck that hard. Or something along those lines. Gay sex would happen. That’s for sure.   
He stood from the table and made his gay way over to the gay bathroom. Will opened the gay door and stepped inside of the gay bathroom. He quickly undressed his gay body, letting his gay clothes fall onto the gay tile floor of the gay bathroom.   
Will turned the water on and stepped inside the gay shower. The hot, almost as hot as his cannibalistic boyfriend, water hit his hot gay bod. Will reached for the lufa and searched for the body wash. To Wills offense, his normal body wash was nowhere to be seen.   
A gay whine of annoyance passed through Will’s dick sucking face hole. “Hannibal where’s my usual butt cleaning body wash!” His gay voice cried out once again from his dick sucking face hole.   
Hannibal backflipped into the shower with a bottle that read, “DR. BRONNER’S 1B-IN-1 HEMP PEPPERMINT PURE-CASTILE SOAP”   
Will took the body wash from his big dicked, gay cannibalistic boy toy.   
Hannibal whispered, “Use this you dirty slut.” Before he backflipped out of the shower. Ever since Hannibal and confessed his love for Will he has backflipped with the power of gayness everywhere he has gone. Also he fell in a vat of toxic waste at last years pride. But that probably doesn’t have to account for his increased gay strengths and ability to gay fly.   
Will just shrugged his gay shoulders and pumped a good amount of the body wash out onto the loufa. He then began to clean his hot gay bod. To his pleasant surprise, the body wash felt like a tiny gay mint fairly licking his hot gay bod. His balls had never before felt cleaner. They felt like nice scoops of mint ice cream hanging underneath Will’s meat sword.   
“Time to clean my gay cannibalistic asshole!” Will exclaimed happily. This ladies and gentlemen, is where Will went horribly wrong. It was in that moment that Will’s asshole felt like it was starting to grow ice cycles.   
He quickly finished his shower and grabbed a gay towel before heading upstairs to the gay sex cave. I am part gay I can confirm gays have sex caves.   
“Hanni! My Booty HOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEE!!!” Will’s dick sucking face hole exclaimed in cold panicked pain.   
It felt like he had icey hot rubbed all up in his gay boy bits. He knew the next time he would shit it would feel like ice cubes would be coming out. He could make himself a nice cold cup of juice with his shit as ice cubes.   
Will hadn’t stopped his complaining for nearly the entire night, and his big dicked boy toy was starting to get angry. Hannibal just wanted to stick his juicy heat seeking moisture missile into his boyfriend’s frozen booty hole.   
“I’m gonna rip your ass in two.” Hannibae growled in his burnt butted boyfriend’s ear   
“But my booty hole! I think that if I squat I’ll just feel all of the air flowing into my gay asshole!” Will whined with a thousand gay suns.   
Hannibal just let out another groan of gay cannibalistic annoyance.   
“You should have told me that I cannot put this on my booty hole Hanni! My balls feel fine! They’re all open and clean and ready to be licked clean!” Will raised his hands above his head for emphasis. “But on my butt! HOO BOY MY ASS!!! This is not comfortable. This is ridiculous. This is catastrophic. It’s…it just…whatever!”   
“If I had known this would happen, I would not have backflipped into your shower.” Hannibonanie stood up from his gay cannibalistic bed. Glitter floating in the gay air that surrounded him.   
“It’s all ogre now”


End file.
